Never Meant To Understand
by Kipcha
Summary: I don't understand why I was brought into this life, only so I could never truly live. But I must go on, for I know my rider needs me... As I need him. Thorn's Thoughts


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Inheritance series, nor Thorn, Murtagh, Shruikan or Galbatorix. I do, however, own all the novels, the movie and Thorn's thoughts.**

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I... do not understand.

I remember... Darkness. Shrouded in it, I was floating, I could see nothing, hear nothing but my own heartbeat. For so long, I was asleep. I was so afraid, afraid that I would never leave the claustrophic walls that confined me.

But then, I felt him. The one I had been waiting in the darkness for, for so very long. I needed to get out, to meet him. He was my rider, that I knew instinctively. I struggled for days, slowly breaking down the diamond hard walls before, finally, I burst from my ruby shell, and carefully took in the sights around me. It was so bright, it hurt my eyes. And there he was, but this was not how I envisioned meeting him. He was broken and bleeding, lying on the floor of a cell, while I sat on top of a number of pillows that seemed to hold my egg in place, preventing it from rolling while I was still inside. On wobbly legs a gambolled over to him, confused. Why was my rider already injured when we hadn't even entered a battle together? Who had done this to him? I would tear them to shreds.

I cautiously sent out a thread of my mind, hoping to touch his consciousness. I was surprised to meet steel like walls, a defence around his thoughts. I snorted quietly. That wouldn't do. No, not at all.

Pushing around his mind, I found a weak point. Nudging it, I realized how exhausted he was, and how hard it must be to maintain such a defence in this state. Determined, I thrust my thread of thought through his barrier. Pleased, I allowed him to realize how worried I was by allowing my emotions to pour into his mind. What was wrong?

The boy raised his head, dark eyes glittering as he examined me. I stared back, hoping for some sort of reaction from my rider. Was he not pleased that we had finally found each other? I had waited hundreds of years for him, and he didn't seem to want anything to do with me.

He chuckled with no humour as he stared at me. "I was hoping he was wrong. I didn't want him to be right. I have always wanted a dragon, but not so he can gain control. But he's never wrong..."

I tilted my head to the side, making it clear that I was trying to understand his words. He slowly began to back away from me, almost as if he were afraid, but I knew from his mind he was not frightened of me, merely unsure. I released a throaty growl, displeased at his display, and trotted forward. Before he could move, I shoved my nose so it buried in his hand. He gasped for a moment, and I knew there would be pain, but he was my rider, and all others needed to know this.

He sat in shock for a moment, staring at the gedwey ignasia that was now permanently burned into his flesh, as I moved to sit in his lap. Flicking my tail, I lay down, placing my head in the crook of his elbow and allowed his presence to tentatively touch mine. I smiled, knowing that he would no longer fight against my consciousness. The mark on his hand signified that he was mine, and he would not fight my claim. Shakily, he began to stroke my scales, and I purred deep in my chest, causing him to grin. Slowly, I drifted asleep, having no idea what was in store for me.

* * *

I...do not understand.

I am enormous, and I know that I should not be this big. I am powerful, but I do not know how to use this newfound strength. I fly, with my rider on my back as he should be, but in the depths of my mind, I know I shouldn't be in the air yet. Instincts tell me I am not yet ready, yet _he_ orders my rider to fly with me. Murtagh often tries to defy him, knowing about my warring instincts, but he knows our true names. He speaks in ancient language, and we have no resistance. He harms Murtagh, but he never lays a finger on me. He says that I cannot be easily replaced, and I need to stay in perfect condition. I hate him.

I am trained by the black one. He is like me, and not in just the way that he is a dragon. No, Shruikan cannot help himself any more then I may. His mind has been warped and changed by his rider, if he can even be called that. I know he was a rider once, but I heard the long sad story from Murtagh himself. We and our riders have a bond that cannot be broken, and when on dies, the other can no longer survive. The one remaining will either die, or sink into madness.

His scales may be black as night, but he does not have a black heart, or at least, he did not always. He cannot control himself, as I cannot, so I refuse to hate him, despite what I am forced to endure at his fangs and claws.

And I still do not understand why I was brought to life like this, only to never live. Me and my rider have destroyed town and cities, and have killed so many innocent people. Rebels, they're called. I know it harms Murtagh, although he never wishes to admit it. I do not understand why I was given life only to be tortured so. A soul as tattered and broken as mine, stained with so much blood, should not be allowed to exist. But I can never refuse, and so, I go on. After all, my rider needs me, as I need him.

I do not think... I will ever understand.

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Rather angsty, might I say. The first_ Eragon_ fic I have ever written, and I must say I am rather pleased. Thorn's character has intrigued me, and although there is so little insight on him, I adore his character. I have not yet finished Brisingr, so I don't know if I may change my point of view, but as for now, I think he is just awesome.

Now its time to play "Click that review button!"


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